There you are Girl - Welcome Back

Yes, I fell off planet blog - but I'm back. I had the nodes checked out and was told the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes. Aaaahhh shit is the first thing I will say. The surgeon wanted to wait and see. That is always something I want to do with cancer, NOT! He did send me down to a ear, nose and throat guy because he didn't think that was causing my ear trouble though. That ENT JERK by the way gave me a run around and cost my insurance a pretty penny - I'll talk about that in a minute. Anyway, long story short. After another MRI/CT scan the first of this week it appears that there is NO cancer in the lymph node system. Early happy dance (not pretty) but hopeful on my part that we are looking at clear nodes here. Now my doctors at Southwest still want to do a PET Scan (was suppose to be done on Friday- I didn't follow eating orders, YES, there are eating orders to this scan, first it is high in protein, not carbs. I did the opposite. OK people it had been a year for me for this particular scan and I went out of my way to get a baked potato so I could have carbs and then there is a no coffee for 24 hours, first of all can we say BITCH if there is no coffee in TJ in those 24 hours. That is 2 mornings with out coffee people. She is not pretty or NICE. Forget the Pretty, let's talk nice.). So, PET scan in a couple of weeks rescheduled - still have issues with the no coffee in 24 hours-Just saying there will most likely need to be a notice put in the paper for the NO COFFEE in TJ - LOOK OUT WORLD! So I don't know what the first radiologist was looking at on the scan or if and yes I do believe that prayers are answered. The PET scan will show very detailed tumors so if they are there in the nodes they will show up. Here is is my thought, I'm not worried. I've been blessed so far and God had really carried me thru all of this and I mean all of this and I'm not going to get upset about this too much. Yes, I still have my pity parties but they are small and limited to a time frame and then I must get over and get on with my life. Do I sit in bed all day(sometimes on the weekend - yes) do I feel bad (yes) will I stay in bed for a full day because I feel bad (not during the week). I have a job, responsibilities, I need to get on with life and do it. Sure I'd love to say feel sorry for me that I have cancer but thank goodness I also have friends that keep me in check and don't treat me as if I'm sickly. Oh dear God, I think that I would be the most depressed person if they all treated me like I was some sickly individual. OH I would hate it.

What else ... decided to do the 3Day walk in MN - the Twin Cities. I was a little doubtful here. OK first of all I had this issue with my ear. Let's go back to the first ENT. I thought it was the lymph node pressing on my ear. The first guy said it was me clenching my jaw at night grinding my teeth. Gave me a weeks worth of Valium and I would me fine. NOT! Wasted my time - I didn't even get the prescription filled as I know I don't clench or grind my teeth. Finally got in to see a good ENT, come to find out, it is allergies. Nasonex and some allergy meds everyday and the clogging in my ear is so much better, no dizziness, no popping, no clicking sound all in under a week!. So don't go see Dr. Gary Goldsmith and waste your money. Dr. Gamble will at least look at your ear in depth and take the time to listen to what you are saying. Thank goodness. Now that I know what is going on with the ears. And I went on a gluten free diet about 6 weeks ago, started putting on some weight, OK 2 pounds, but for me this is major. I didn't what was causing me to still have major stomach issues (i won't go into all the details here) but I couldn't figure this all out. Even after my surgery I was having issues. So I cut glutens out of my diet, OMG. Do I feel BETTER, the bloating, gas has stopped. I don't have to wait all day to eat now because I know I don't have to worry about where the bathroom is located(if you know what I mean). Now, I can do the walk and feel good.

So, Thursday, I signed up for MN - Twin Cities. Bad news, it is 6 weeks away. Good news - I will be walking with my bestest buds. I love the Sharla Schooley's Angels. Sharla is an Angel now, her brother Jason is our leader, our mentor, not my blood brother, but I claim him as my brother. Jason and I can go weeks with out talking and then talk like we haven't been apart. I love the other mates, Lorenzo, Linda, Jana, Greg, Jerry - we have like 18 total members - only 6 will be walking in MN. When you walk with them, the 20 miles every day, seem to just melt by. OK, some don't but I wouldn't want to walk with anyone else. I just have a passion to find a cure for this disease called cancer. It's rotten, it's one of the worst, and every time I hear someone stricken with it, no matter if it is breast, kidney, liver, skin. I detest it. So this year I will walk in two walks again. Twin Cities and Dallas with the team. In April I was doubtful I could do it, I thought I would be too weak and I was told I couldn't do it(that was a no,no!) But yesterday and today, I did two 3 mile training walks and you know what my body surprised me. I felt the old walker tj in there. She was not only wanting to come back she was shouting "There you are girl - Welcome back."