Taylor Cheyenne - Happy 21st Birthday

21 years ago today I gave birth to my daughter Taylor Cheyenne. She came into the world at 5:00 AM via C-section at 6lbs 14 oz, 181/2 inches long. She was due on March 7th my birthday but due to Tom Landry's firing by Jerry Jones the night before I went into early labor. My water broke at 2:26 AM. I felt that strange stirring, after all this was my third child (I had two boys) and my water had broken with Lariat. I gently got out of the water bed(yes it was 1989), walked with my legs together and the moment I sat over the toilet it broke. I cleaned up and went to wake Eddy, who was suffering from chicken pox (he and my 4 year old had them)and told him my water had broken and knowing I would have to have a c-section started making the phone calls. After all we lived 30 minutes from the hospital. We lived in a small town of 700 people. I called my girlfriend who would have to go into delivery with me (she was pregnant with twins) since Eddy couldn't with the "pox". I called my mom and dad to come and get the boys. I called the hospital so they could get everyone ready for me. Before we could get to the hospital my contractions were just minutes apart but nothing was happening. I labor quickly but nothing opens up. My doctor apologized when he arrived. Apparently they forgot to tell him that I was in labor, just that my water had broken. There was debate about whether Eddy could come into the hospital since he had chicken pox and finally he was allowed but wouldn't be allowed in delivery, since he apparently was passed the contagious stage, my girlfriend wouldn't be allowed in the delivery due to the fact that she hadn't taken classes with me. So, I would go it alone this time. All the buzz in the delivery room was about Tom Landry's firing and I of course didn't mind since I was a huge Cowboy fan and knew that was the cause of my early delivery. Taylor arrived appearing beautiful and robustly crying. The nurse there kindly took pics for us. She looked healthy. It would not be until 2 weeks later that we learned that Taylor had a very severe heart defect and that she had Down Syndrome. My Mom said she feared when she saw her the first time after delivery but when the doctor didn't mention it, she tried not to worry about it. But when we were sent for some heart testing 2 weeks later the doctors there told us they felt like Taylor had Downs and would like to test her. From that day on we never noticed we had a Down Syndrome child, it was a fight to keep her alive with her heart. She was a beautiful child, with an angelic way about her, her smile and attitude, but she just had a really bad heart. On Nov. 8, 1989 she died after 9 1/2 hours of open heart surgery while they were trying to repair the hole in her heart. I never prayed so hard that day. Not that God wouldn't take her but that He would make sure that He took care of her no matter what the outcome that day. I left the hospital that night knowing that I was going to be okay. I knew Taylor was being rocked in the arms of Jesus as we drove home. I had no doubt. From that day on, I've grieved but I also knew that God had a plan. I didn't ask why as I knew God had given me angel to care for awhile and it was time for this angel to return to his care.
So, as I looked thru Taylor's book tonight I reflected on her life, brief, but bright and loving and so cared. She was a little girl with a big heart. She was loved my many and the church overflowed with flowers and people. Every year on her birthday, no matter where I am, I let a balloon go and have a piece of cake in her honor. Today, I had 21 pink roses delivered, she would have loved them. Happy Birthday Taylor Cheyenne! I know that you are safe and sound and now your Dad is up there with you. I hope that reunion was AWESOME!

Remembering

I'm off work today since I have Shingles. You can't travel on a plane and do presentations if you do! I am contagious after all. Last night as I was writing a friend and talking about shingles is like having chicken pox I was remembering. Exactly 21 years ago this week my youngest son Chance ,then 3 and my husband Eddy (now ex and deceased) 30 had chicken pox at the same time and I was huge pregnant with our youngest, a daughter, Taylor that was due any day. Eddy of course thought he was dying then. Our doctor had told him that he had some older patients die of chicken pox and of course Eddy just knew he was. So, as we were laying in bed, Eddy was moaning and groaning and I was lying there with Braxton contractions and I looked over at him and said "you carry a baby for nine months and then you can moan". I still laugh about that moment. Poor guy.
I was suppose to go on a business trip today. Normally on my daughter's birthday I always have a small cake and let a balloon go. I was going to be terribly busy this time in Orlando Friday. Now I'm going to be home. As I'm writing this I'm wondering if this was God's way of saying you are going to be able to celebrate after all. Taylor died when she was 8 months old. Even after all these years. I still miss her. I had her for 8 months 13 days. She was such a angel. She was sick much of that time and died after 10 hours of surgery on her heart. But I have not forgotten what she felt like in my arms. Every year on her birthday and on the anniversary of her death, I always look thru her photo album. She brought me joy for the short months she was with us. My oldest son has her name tattooed on his arm. I know that her father is now up there with her. She would have been 21 on Friday. I believe that God knew I needed to be home!

I've had such a major headache for the last few days. Today I woke up feeling better with the head but I had a rash on the right side of my neck and a rash on my stomach. I went to the doctor and sure enough it's Shingles. Just what I needed! He told me REST! I came home and went into full speed mode. Called my Manager, told him and then had to enter all my notes into the computer for him and get those off and over to him for the trip to Orlando for the Staples meeting. I don't know why on earth I should care. It's not even my account any more, it's his but - Oh No! I thing I must do everything. My doctor wants me to do nothing and here I was working 5 straight hours getting all that done. I'm tired. I'm suppose to do nothing the next 4 days. Feet up and nap as much as I can. I'm relieved that I'm not going to Orlando. I'm so tired. I'm ready to see my honey. He should be home Saturday from skiing. Can't wait.

Maybe not quite a year yet! Feb. 21, 2010

Ok it's not quite a year yet. It was March 26, 2009 when a team of doctors told me that I had less than a year to live. I have been battleing living cancer for 7 years now and on that day that told me that all of my treatment options were pretty much used up and I should just live out the rest of my time "peacefully". After a fews days of absorbing this news, I pulled myself together and decided that fight was my only option. I'm young, I had just celebrated my 47th birthday on the 7th of March and I wasn't about to stop fighting. I found a couple of unconventional treatment options. The strength of prayer and God's will and today I'm standing, still working and beginning this blog. I'm not cured and I'm not out of the cancer's wrath by any means but I'm still living. I won't allow cancer to beat me and I plan on beating cancer! I decided to live and to live big. I walked in two Susan G. Komen walks for the cure walks last fall. One in Dallas and one in San Diego, 120 miles in less than 2 weeks. I plan on doing it this year too - maybe with a month in between. LOL! I started this blog because I want to tell my story - a little at a time but I have a ton I want to tell. I have so much I want my boys to know. The story of my daughter Taylor, how she died when she was just 8 months old and how I lived thru that. And how I will live thru this. Their father died three years ago from a massive heart attack, though we had been divorced for years, he didn't leave them much in the way of anything. When I do have to leave them. I hope they have this blog to read back on some day. I hope to be old and gray but I want them to have it. This is my story!