A little boy named Hunter can make a T-Lee feel so much better. He, his mom and dad came to visit for a few hours today. Oh how he has grown! Usually on Saturdays I'm wiped out but you tell me that Hunter is a coming and I'll find all the energy in the world and will it into me for a few hours to spend some time for that little man. He found the "bunny's nest" that the Easter Bunny left for him. Wow! It had eggs full of frogs and bulldozers and firetrucks and all kinds of goodies. He also had his first sucker. OMG - was he ever so cute. We sat forever on the floor while he ate that thing. I could have watched that go on for days. The way he would pull it out of his mouth and look at it. Feel it between his teeth. It was so fun. The hardest part was keeping him seated long enough so he wouldn't run around with a stick poking out of his mouth while he was eating it. And he's kissing, really kissing. He puckers up those little lips and kisses you. Before now, it's been those open mouth kisses and now he's giving good kisses when you ask for them. That was my favorite part of the entire visit. I must have gotten at least 30 kisses today. Hunter is now in the age that I'm beginning to think that he might remember some of the things that we do together. "So, T-Lee crawls in a tunnel with me and the Easter Bunny leaves a "nest" at her house". Oh God, I hope he remembers some of these things!
I'm been thinking a ton lately about how to make the most of the time I have left. What do you do to make this world a better place, what do you do to make sure your children know that you thought of them every day, what do you do to make sure your sweetheart knew that he was the love your life, what do you do to make sure your friends were special to you? There are so many things I want to do before I leave this earth. I'm hoping one day when my boys and the L man read back thru my Gratitude Journals (I've kept them since March of 1999) that they will see how thankful I was for them. I want to make a difference here. I'm hoping that being a guinea pig with my body and taking the experimental drugs has helped some. I will continue to do so, as this is part of my contribution to help finding a cure for this disease I honestly can say I hate because I just haven't found a any other way yet.
This week I found out that my VP really tired to do something special for me. Because she really wanted to be there for a special event in my life. It meant so much to me - more than she will ever know. I found out that it was due to the fact that a friend of mine had called her to tell her it was a wish of mine. Of course, I cried. It made me happy that someone cared so much to do something for me. I hope to let everyone know what this is all about in a few weeks.
On the health front: I was able to get in two days of radiation this week and of course chemo yesterday. The tumor on the lung is shrinking and the docs say if we can continue getting some major radiation in that we could eradicate this darn thing. The liver tumor is holding strong - bless this one - it loves my body.
This morning as I was curled up on the bed willing myself into feeling better. I do this little routine every day "this is nothing wrong with you - you feel good, you feel great, get yourself up and get going - it's going to be a great day". I normally repeat this over and over to myself until my mind tricks my body into believing it. On Saturdays & Sundays I'm normally not so tough on myself. This morning as I was lying on the bed and telling myself that I wasn't going to be sick, I was watching the Taylor Swift video Fearless. If you haven't ever watched it - do. It has a great beat, but most importantly, it just reminds you - be fearless every once in a great while! Be fearless with me! Won't you!
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