Seriously!

Seriously, I'm not sure where the last few days have gone. I had the best intentions on Monday morning when I posted. I thought I would get something done when wham, the wave of nausea hit and the vomiting took over and would not stop. I could not remain upright. Upright meant upchuck! I can crack jokes now. I took a sick day and found myself thinking of all the ways I could end it. Usually I'm just not that type. I can take a lot and I mean a lot, I mean I've walked 120 miles in 2 weeks with blisters on my feet, I can do just about anything, but Monday evening I couldn't take much more by Tuesday at 4 AM I was wondering how I could make it look like an accident by 7 inch knife thru the heart. That's how serious I was. New meds they started me on last week for the pain was making me throw up and dizzy and just plain I can't live like this. By noon on Tuesday I finally felt like the fog was lifting. Though Larry said he didn't really believe it. I have these stones, one has STRENGTH on it and the other has HEALING on it. I was sleeping with them, rubbing them on my stomach. Wishing I had 10 of them to tape to me. Yes, it was that serious! Anything to make me better. I was giving myself the "you feel good" speech. My mind was into believing but my body was REBELLING. I was whispering "I am well, all is well". Just knowing God was hearing those words. Finally yesterday about 12:30 PM a chicken sandwich stayed down and then at 5:30 another chicken sandwich stayed down. Today I awoke feeling as if the world was right again. I was so grateful that at least yesterday I could make phone calls and do computer work from the prone position. I might not have sounded like a on top of the world sales person, but I was alive. Today, I made it out of the house and saw a couple of clients. God is good. Now, by the time I arrived back at the house at 4:30 I was dragging big time but I did it. I had to ask God to carry me a couple of times, but I'm sure He didn't mind. I had lost a few pounds the last couple of days, so the load was a little lighter. My doctor's were right and the new meds were kicking in after 7 to 10 days. I'm just so happy, it's closer to those 7 days. I'll keep sleeping with the stones though, they might have a little power and they are a little cooling when your body hot to touch. I have to say, Alan Christopher had these cool packs that Maple Ridge shipped the chocolate in to LSSU to keep it cool. Those cool packs have been life savers too. I used those to keep me from overheating. I would be burning up and I could use those to cool me down and the nice thing is, that they could be flung to the side of the bed and then used and then thrown off and then used for like up to 6 hours. It was great! I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to go and get another one. That's an energy saver for me!!! Seriously, just another day, and more chemo on Friday! It's a vicious cycle but someone has to do it and it might as well be me! Seriously!